I Won't Say Goodbye
by FireflyFanatic3x
Summary: An incredibly angsty ending to Mergana's tragic story. There's obviously a back-story to it, but I just had the ending in mind, make up the previous chapters in your mind :P lol ... rated T for some violence/gore and death/grief etc. Please review!


Description: The tragic last chapter to a version of a Mergana story. Make up the beginning yourself, I am apparently only good at writing one-shots, so here you go … please review! ;)

Also, this → **/watch?v=gg4zxY1vF1w** This fic is entirely born of that song. That song just … does things to me.

Word Count: 2000

Warnings: ANGST! ANGST, ANGST, AAANGST! You may need some tissues handy…

Notes: I couldn't decide on an ending, so this is ending one. I'll be uploading a version with a second, alternate ending later…

_**I Won't Say Goodbye**_

Morgana's eyes narrowed, unconsciously, for moment as she realised there was someone behind her. It only took her a second to realise, but a second was too late. Already, she was uttering the words of a spell in her mind, the instinctive and powerful reaction to any danger she was in. Without even thinking about it, she turned around to face her attacker.

Everything around them was rushed, swirling in chaos, but for a moment, in that minute, time seemed to slow down as the scene unfolded so painfully. As the wind picked up, Merlin shouted at the top of his voice from some distance away, screaming her name. "MORGANA!"

She heard him screaming his name before she felt it. As she turned, the sound of Merlin's voice reached her ears, almost instantaneously, the long blade was thrust into her chest. There was no flash of gold, no spell to defend herself with. She was too late. There was only the pain, the white hot stabbing sensation which paralysed her entire body. Her eyes widened in pain and almost instantly there was blood in her mouth, dripping from the side of her lips. The man who stood in front of her, smiled a little, the edges of his mouth furling as he pulled the dagger from her chest.

Merlin's eyes widened in horror as he watched, frozen for a moment and powerless to help as she was run through. Then he dropped his sword, he dropped everything, and ran. He ran faster than he ever had before, desperate to get there in time, to help her, to save her.

"MORGANA!" he screamed again as her knees buckled and she began to fall to the ground.

As he ran towards her, his eyes flashed yellow and the man still holding the bloody dagger was thrown backwards. He screamed as he went flying and his whole body bent as his back broke and he fell to the floor, dead before he hit the ground.

Merlin came to a halt just behind her, crashing to his knees as she collapsed and he caught her, heavy in his arms. He turned her a little so he look at her face. Her eyes were wide with fear and her face was contorted into an expression of intense pain.

"Morgana?" he said, frantically. "Morgana!" she looked up into his eyes, and for a moment she tried to speak, desperate to beg for help, to tell him how much she loved him. She wanted so badly to stay, just to speak to him, to be with him for one more minute. But she couldn't speak, she couldn't say a word, she couldn't even move. She stared up at him, and as she gurgled and spluttered, blood spewing from the sides of her mouth as well as the gaping wound in the middle of her chest, everything stopped. Nothing else mattered, but this moment right here, the last moment she would ever get with him. Merlin looked down, tears already beginning to well up as he began to rock back and forth a little, shaking his head in denial. A tear rolled down her cheek as she looked longingly up into his eyes, then her face screwed up in pain for a moment before her whole body relaxed.

"Morgana? Morgana!" Merlin said, raising his voice, becoming completely frantic. He shook her a little, rocking back and forth as he looked desperately down at her lifeless body, adjusting his tight grip on her. "No! No, no, no, no-no-no-no-no-no-no!" he muttered as his eyes darted around frantically and he began to tremble, unable to keep still. "Morgana?" he croaked as a tear fell and landed on her blooded face. "MORGANA!" he shouted, gripping her tight and weeping as his voice cracked.

For some time, he just stayed there, holding onto her, refusing to let go. She couldn't die! "Morgana …" he wept, more tears spilling over and rolling down the sides of his cheek, "You can't go! I need you! Not after we've fixed everything, we were just starting to get it right! I … I love you, Morgana! You can't leave me!" he cried as he rocked back and forth.

He didn't know what to say or do. He just sat there, shaking as he held her body tight. He wept uncontrollably, trying hopelessly to fight back the tears, as he looked down at her, unable to take anything in. She couldn't be dead, she just couldn't be. How could she die now, after all this? And from a knife wound of all things! There was no way he was going to let her just go, just like that … They were just starting to get things right! After so many years, after so may mistakes, after so much heartache and a desperate love, he couldn't lose her, not here, not like this. He just couldn't … not now!

Eventually his grip on her limp body began to loosen and he let her go, staggering to his feet. He just stood there, with no idea what to do. What was he supposed to do now? Everything was coming to an end and he couldn't breathe.

_Why?_ Why this place, why now? Why, why of all people, did it have to be _her_?

He put his hands on the back of his head, tugging a little on his hair as he looked around, not really seeing anything. His face was stained with tears and there were more welling up as he stood there, moving his feet a little, staggering, unable to remain steady.

Her loss, and all the pain it brought, now becoming a physical pain, a deep ache in the pit of his stomach, he bent over double and screamed. He shouted out, screaming at the top of his lungs, his whole face going red with the strain as he yelled. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

Completely exhausted and no longer able to stand up, he fell to his knees. His whole body shook a little as he hit the ground, the impact running through his body, from his knees to his head. As more tears fell and he just felt a complete numbness wash over him, he remained there, on his knees, with his arms limp by his side, hanging his head.

Eventually, he lifted his head and moved to where Morgana lay, crawling along the ground, too weak to stand. He turned her over so that she was lying on her back, her lifeless eyes staring up at the sky. As new, fresh tears began to spill over and fall into her beautiful face, Merlin's lip began to tremble. How has this happened?

He reached out with his hand and gently moved the hair from her face and closed her eyes. She was so beautiful. The most beautiful woman he had ever met, and even here, now, in death, she was still so beautiful, so elegant and strong. She couldn't be gone … she'd lived through so much, it just wasn't right to loose her now, like this.

Then Merlin took a deep breath, bracing himself and taking control of his emotions and the effect they were having on his body. He made a mucky attempt at wiping the tears away from his face, running the back of his dirty sleeve across as he stopped crying. He now wore a stony expression, void of all the emotions which had overtaken him. He had to be strong, for her. He gently put his hands underneath her and lifted her up. "Come on," he said as he struggled with the immense weight of loss in his arms, "I'm taking you home."

He staggered to his feet once more, now more than ever, finding it difficult to stand. He turned, and with the lifeless beauty in his arms, he made his way out of the clearing.

Stumbling through the forest, carrying the love of his life in his weak arms, Merlin finally came to a stop when he reached the lake, with tears still streaming down his cheeks, he bent down and lay Morgana gently onto the dusty shore.

He gazed down at her beautiful face for a moment as he stood there, crouched over her body, unable to contain himself any longer. He slumped himself down beside her, and held her body tight as he wept. Tears began to mingle with blood and rain as the skies opened and rain came pouring out, soaking Merlin to the skin. But he didn't care, he just held her tighter, his knuckles, which gripped her torn dress, white and bruised, as he nuzzled his face into her long hair.

Eventually, after what could have been an eternity, as evening began to draw in, Merlin finally sat up, his whole body completely weak from the whirlwind of emotions which he had experienced, and the physical toll that that pain and all the tears was having on his body. As he looked silently out at the lake, he closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, he stretched out his arm feebly and muttered a spell. His eyes glowed a gentle yellow-gold and a small, wooden boat formed in front of him. He looked at it for a moment, glanced at Morgana, then back at the boat again.

_Not quite right._

He took a few small steps forward, edging out into the lake, soaking his ankles in the ice-cold lake water. He touched the edge of the boat and closed his eyes, muttering another incantation, as his gaze flickered behind closed eyes. As he opened his eyes and they once again glowed yellow-gold, an intricate and decorative pattern began to appear, weaving along the side of the boat and down into the inside, beginning where his fingers gently touched the wood. Then flowers, vines weaving too, buds opening and blossoming into beautiful flowers of all colours all around the boat, weaving into the inside and falling over the sides. Merlin almost smiled as he looked down at the boat which was now fit for a princess. Beautiful. Just like her …

He walked back to where she lay and picked her up, holding her tightly in his arms as he moved towards the boat and placed her gently down into it, so she lay amongst the flowers. He climbed in next to her and lay himself down next to her, gripping her tight, just like he had on the shore, as a new tear fell silently from his eye and slid slowly down his cheek.

Without even saying a word, he used his power to push the boat from the shore, and soon they were floating away, both of them, away from everything.

Just one last spell to do, just one more thing. It was a royal burial, something she more than deserved. Though, it was hardly something he would have deemed himself worthy of … still, he wasn't going to leave her, not ever. He let her get hurt, he'd failed her once, he couldn't do it again.

He didn't need to say goodbye. Why say goodbye when he knew they would be together forever? He would go with her, he would follow her, wherever it led. That's what he'd promised, that's what he'd vowed. And he was not a man to go back on his word.

No, instead of goodbye, he simply lifted his head and kissed her forehead, then her lips, gently pressing his mouth onto hers. Then he closed his eyes and whispered his last spell.

As the rain continued to pour down on the anguished scene that evening, the sun began to disappear behind the mountain and dark, heavy clouds covered the sky. Far out on the lake, a boat could be seen. A long, slender and elegant boat, covered in flowers of all kinds and fit for a princess; a princess and her lover, just the servant boy. As the rain continued to pour down on the couple, flattening the small flowers and washing all the blood away; the flames, hot and resilient, climbed higher and higher, lighting up the entire scene out there, on the lake; their love blazing for eternity…


End file.
